Ever since we moved into our house, our guest bathroom has had dark green wallpaper with pink roses on it. Suffice it to say - this is not our style. However, due to lots of procrastinating, some knowledge of the work involved w/ stripping wallpaper, and my sheer inability to dig deep & muster the motivation, the wallpaper has stayed put for nearly 4 years.
A while back the kids discovered a little tear in the paper and simply could not help themselves from ripping off tiny pieces and exposing more and more of the wall. Ok, truth be told, I may have actually started this...perhaps a deep, evolutionary connection to picking at things, like my distant relatives, the chimpanzees, picking for bugs in each others fur!
Last summer I decided to invited everyone who used the bathroom (family and guests alike) to feel free to peel away a strip of wallpaper. My thinking was: a) I would be motivated (irritated) by the slowly appearing wall to actually "take the plunge," and b) It may actually make my job easier if everyone just did it for me.
It didn't make my job any easier. It just pissed me off. It was an unfinished, half-assed, ugly, annoying part of my house - and I saw it EVERY DAY! So did my husband and kids... but it really didn't bug them.
Now, I am a BIG believer in your living space (home, physical environment, etc.) being a very accurate representation or metaphor for your life. So, for a few years, I have been wondering what the "rosy" Guest Bathroom says about my life.
Finally, I think I have discovered what part of my life my guest bathroom represents: (pardon the "potty" humor, but it kind of seems appropriate here) - My avoidance of STINKY, SHITTY things!
For a while I was able to avoid dealing with it and even find some acceptance with the dark, flowered meadow, that was my guest bathroom.
But, after a while... I knew the wallpaper just had to go. Slowly, at first. Then, I decided to bring others on board - thinking they could somehow make things happen where I could not. Here is the truth about wallpaper; it takes time to remove it, it takes motivation, it benefits from a little help, but it really is a one woman job (especially in a small bathroom).
Three weeks ago I started the REAL work. You would think that once I started I would want to get it done quickly. Nope, not me. I have chosen instead to draw this out as long as possible! I stripped the easy places first and left the residual paper and glue clinging to the walls. Then I removed the hardware. The I took off some more wallpaper. Then I "let" my brother, visiting from Hawaii, help me (I am pretty sure he was thinking it would take me a year if he didn't step in and assist). Turns out, stripping the paper is quite a process, especially when you have gouged the dry wall and the floorboards are GLUED on!
I am STILL not done - not even ready to paint yet, but I am happy to report that the wallpaper is gone! I think part of me is enjoying the process of CHANGE and TRANSFORMATION. When you think about something for as long as I have thought about the wallpaper in the bathroom you want to let it all unfold slowly, right?
And this SLOW unfolding - or "peeling" has taught me something. Sometimes we avoid things because we think they will be really SHITTY, but we end up not really minding them so much - infact, sometimes they make us feel capable, motivated, and even empowered! And sometimes, it is totally ok to avoid them until you are just ready. In fact, when you are ready to tackle the "stinky" thing you have been avoiding, maybe it won't feel so much like a tackle as it will a gentle roll in a meadow. And maybe, that meadow will be dark green and dotted with pink roses.
So, what is your "wallpaper"? What have you been avoiding that you may just be ready to move on?
The truth about wallpaper is sometimes it is OK to leave it on for a while and sometimes it reaches a point where it just HAS to go!
Showing posts with label life coaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life coaching. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Creating opportunities...
Sometimes you are all ready for an appointment, a meeting, or a call and it doesn't happen. I used to get upset when plans fell through and take it as a "sign" that I wasn't worthy of the other person's time or consideration. I would spend the time I was supposed to be with them wondering what was wrong with me. I did this both in my business and professional life. Before I knew it the time I was intending to coach, meet for coffee or just chat was gone and I had used it to simply wallow and spin a story.
I don't remember when it hit me, and to be honest sometimes it still doesn't, but more often than not these days I see a missed meeting, missed coaching call, or missed appointment as an OPPORTUNITY to do something meaningful. Rather than spend this time focusing on what may have been missed I choose to consider what I can do with this gift of time.
Today, a missed coaching call becomes an opportunity to send out a quick blog. Tomorrow's missed appointment may be a chance to take a brisk walk and next week's cancelled meeting could become a creative explosion of marketing ideas (seriously, I could really use that!).
The point is that we get to CHOOSE how we spend our time. No one dictates our thoughts and our choices... we may have no control over someone forgetting a scheduled appointment, but everything beyond that is up to us - what we do with that time, how we react, and what we do next.
Olivia is downstairs playing a game with her Lala (grandma), I am in a quiet space... all is perfect in my world right now. Sure, I could have been on a coaching call - but I am not.
When plans change how do you respond? Are you a "victim of circumstance" or a Creator of Opporunity? What can you do today to make the most of change in plans?
Thanks to my fabulous client for missing our call... oh wait, the phone is ringing, she is just 30 minutes late. Wow - what an excellent 30 minutes!
I don't remember when it hit me, and to be honest sometimes it still doesn't, but more often than not these days I see a missed meeting, missed coaching call, or missed appointment as an OPPORTUNITY to do something meaningful. Rather than spend this time focusing on what may have been missed I choose to consider what I can do with this gift of time.
Today, a missed coaching call becomes an opportunity to send out a quick blog. Tomorrow's missed appointment may be a chance to take a brisk walk and next week's cancelled meeting could become a creative explosion of marketing ideas (seriously, I could really use that!).
The point is that we get to CHOOSE how we spend our time. No one dictates our thoughts and our choices... we may have no control over someone forgetting a scheduled appointment, but everything beyond that is up to us - what we do with that time, how we react, and what we do next.
Olivia is downstairs playing a game with her Lala (grandma), I am in a quiet space... all is perfect in my world right now. Sure, I could have been on a coaching call - but I am not.
When plans change how do you respond? Are you a "victim of circumstance" or a Creator of Opporunity? What can you do today to make the most of change in plans?
Thanks to my fabulous client for missing our call... oh wait, the phone is ringing, she is just 30 minutes late. Wow - what an excellent 30 minutes!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Reorganizing & Getting Rid of the Excess!
The Trek Continues….
Unpacking My Backpack!
Even though I haven’t necessarily had a clear destination in mind I have been lugging around a heavy backpack (my weight and all the issues that surround it) for a very long time. I have just assumed that I needed everything in there, and in a way I have. Each of the items served its own unique purpose and fulfilled some need, but now that I am headed in a different direction I definitely need to “lighten the load!” and get rid of the things that no longer serve me.
In case you haven’t noticed, I am BIG on metaphors!! I believe that metaphors allow us to take a pretty HEAVY situation and look at it without the same attachment we get when using “normal” words and description. So, in case you haven’t made the connections yet – the “trek” is that unbeaten path I am embarking on to live a lighter life – physically and mentally. The Backpack is representative of the weight I have been carrying around and the contents of the pack are all the things, feelings, hang-ups, and “stuff” that are making my backpack cumbersome and contributing to me being ill-prepared for this trek.
So, first things first – re-organize the pack!
Unpacking has been quite a task. No doubt I will find hidden pockets with additional things tucked away in them throughout my trek. Here are some of the interesting things I found, both hiding and in plain sight, in my backpack:
Ankle weights – really, are these necessary when backpacking? These are all the reasons (stories I told myself) why I didn’t think I had the stamina or willpower to change my life. I think I will ditch these for some good hiking boots…
Ear plugs – for those loud nights in the wilderness?? These were quite useful in tuning out my body. I think I will leave them behind too… it is amazing what you can hear when there is nothing to listen to but yourself.
Rolodex – huh!? I am sure I will not need that where I am headed! This is my old “everybody,” the people who I thought were important. I hadn’t talked to some of them in years…. others I had never even met, and even more amazing, some of them I really didn’t like at all! Imagine that!? Truly significant people aren’t in a rolodex! I will definitely be packing a new “everybody.”
Hairdryer – not a good use of space. This unnecessary appliance is a good example of packing things we think will be useful, but turn out to just be extra weight! This represents the unhelpful and useless thoughts I have including, “I hate my body,” “what is wrong with me?” and even “If I could lose weight everything else would be better.” These are nothing but a waste of good space. I am ditching the hairdryer for a more constructive tool!
Next time, I will begin to pack the bag. I am sure I will have to stop for supplies along the way. In the meantime, I invite you to consider what you are carrying around that isn’t serving you. It doesn’t matter where you are going; you probably have more baggage than is necessary.
Ask yourself the following questions to lighten your load:
What are the stories you tell yourself that weigh you down like ankle weights? (Ex: “I am not worth it.” “I can’t succeed.” “No one loves me.” “I must be perfect.” etc.)
Are you really listening to your body or are you wearing ear plugs to tune out its messages? Notice what you feel and when you feel it. When we become numb to our emotions our bodies continue to send messages to us… take some time to listen. You may hear something that will change your life!
Who are the people you consider important? Is it time to create a new rolodex? If any of the people who make up your “everybody” are hurtful rather than helpful they should be replaced. You are beautiful, intelligent and creative and you believed this until somebody (your “everybody”) taught you otherwise. Replace your limiting “everybody” with those who see you as you really are.
Finally, what unhelpful comments or thoughts are you repeating to yourself? They don’t help! They take up space – and space is limited! Putting yourself down and beating yourself up are not going to inspire or motivate you. Instead, they will weigh you down and trip you up. Are you willing to get rid of one unhelpful thought?
If you are interested in individual or group coaching please contact me at spasister@comcast.net or 253-514-6197.
Until next time,
xoxoHannah
Unpacking My Backpack!
Even though I haven’t necessarily had a clear destination in mind I have been lugging around a heavy backpack (my weight and all the issues that surround it) for a very long time. I have just assumed that I needed everything in there, and in a way I have. Each of the items served its own unique purpose and fulfilled some need, but now that I am headed in a different direction I definitely need to “lighten the load!” and get rid of the things that no longer serve me.
In case you haven’t noticed, I am BIG on metaphors!! I believe that metaphors allow us to take a pretty HEAVY situation and look at it without the same attachment we get when using “normal” words and description. So, in case you haven’t made the connections yet – the “trek” is that unbeaten path I am embarking on to live a lighter life – physically and mentally. The Backpack is representative of the weight I have been carrying around and the contents of the pack are all the things, feelings, hang-ups, and “stuff” that are making my backpack cumbersome and contributing to me being ill-prepared for this trek.
So, first things first – re-organize the pack!
Unpacking has been quite a task. No doubt I will find hidden pockets with additional things tucked away in them throughout my trek. Here are some of the interesting things I found, both hiding and in plain sight, in my backpack:
Ankle weights – really, are these necessary when backpacking? These are all the reasons (stories I told myself) why I didn’t think I had the stamina or willpower to change my life. I think I will ditch these for some good hiking boots…
Ear plugs – for those loud nights in the wilderness?? These were quite useful in tuning out my body. I think I will leave them behind too… it is amazing what you can hear when there is nothing to listen to but yourself.
Rolodex – huh!? I am sure I will not need that where I am headed! This is my old “everybody,” the people who I thought were important. I hadn’t talked to some of them in years…. others I had never even met, and even more amazing, some of them I really didn’t like at all! Imagine that!? Truly significant people aren’t in a rolodex! I will definitely be packing a new “everybody.”
Hairdryer – not a good use of space. This unnecessary appliance is a good example of packing things we think will be useful, but turn out to just be extra weight! This represents the unhelpful and useless thoughts I have including, “I hate my body,” “what is wrong with me?” and even “If I could lose weight everything else would be better.” These are nothing but a waste of good space. I am ditching the hairdryer for a more constructive tool!
Next time, I will begin to pack the bag. I am sure I will have to stop for supplies along the way. In the meantime, I invite you to consider what you are carrying around that isn’t serving you. It doesn’t matter where you are going; you probably have more baggage than is necessary.
Ask yourself the following questions to lighten your load:
What are the stories you tell yourself that weigh you down like ankle weights? (Ex: “I am not worth it.” “I can’t succeed.” “No one loves me.” “I must be perfect.” etc.)
Are you really listening to your body or are you wearing ear plugs to tune out its messages? Notice what you feel and when you feel it. When we become numb to our emotions our bodies continue to send messages to us… take some time to listen. You may hear something that will change your life!
Who are the people you consider important? Is it time to create a new rolodex? If any of the people who make up your “everybody” are hurtful rather than helpful they should be replaced. You are beautiful, intelligent and creative and you believed this until somebody (your “everybody”) taught you otherwise. Replace your limiting “everybody” with those who see you as you really are.
Finally, what unhelpful comments or thoughts are you repeating to yourself? They don’t help! They take up space – and space is limited! Putting yourself down and beating yourself up are not going to inspire or motivate you. Instead, they will weigh you down and trip you up. Are you willing to get rid of one unhelpful thought?
If you are interested in individual or group coaching please contact me at spasister@comcast.net or 253-514-6197.
Until next time,
xoxoHannah
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